Talking to Neurodivergent Teens

Adolescence is a critical period for identity formation and self-esteem. For neurodivergent teens, this stage can be particularly complex, as they may face societal misunderstandings or internalized challenges.   

Teenagers are often highly attuned to authenticity and respect. Begin interactions by assuming competence and showing genuine interest in their experiences. Avoid assumptions about their abilities or intentions. Instead, ask open-ended questions like, “What works best for you when learning something new?” This approach signals that their voice matters and sets the stage for collaboration.  

Help teens recognize their unique talents and how these can be assets in learning and life. Say things like, “Your creativity in solving this problem is impressive,” or, “You’ve got a great ability to think outside the box—how can we use that here?” Reinforcing their abilities builds confidence and helps them see differences as strengths, not obstacles.  

Language is powerful in shaping a teen’s self-perception. Use language that fosters understanding and connection. Validate their feelings by saying, “It makes sense you’d feel that way in this situation,” or “I hear you, and I understand this is frustrating.” Instead of dictating solutions, involve and empower them in problem-solving and ask questions like, “What do you think could help in this situation?”   

Offering grace and understanding when teens struggle can make a significant difference. Break tasks into smaller, manageable steps and allow for breaks when they seem overwhelming. If they need to pause to scroll on their phone or engage in another preferred activity, allow it – it can be helpful for them to self-regulate before re-engaging.   

Whenever possible, empower a teen’s autonomy and let them take ownership of their learning and decision-making. Whether choosing a project topic or setting their weekly schedule, involving them in decisions builds their confidence and sense of responsibility. Affirm their efforts and celebrate their successes.  

Find ways to integrate a teen’s interests into learning and non-learning activities. Look for ways to connect their hobbies to educational goals or life skills. For example, if a teen loves gaming, frame a math problem in the context of game design or statistics in esports. Engage them in discovering how math is an integral part of game development.   

Navigating adolescence alongside a neurodivergent teen can be challenging but so very rewarding. Open communication and shared strategies between caregivers and educators can create a cohesive support system. Share insights about what works best for the teen in various environments, celebrate progress together, and maintain a focus on the teen’s strengths and individuality.   

Adolescence is a journey of growth, self-discovery, and transformation. By fostering respect, understanding, and meaningful engagement, we can create an environment where teens feel seen, heard, and supported—helping them unlock their full potential.  

– Becky Bishop, Senior Manager, Youth and Adult Programs

LDS is a community of dedicated professionals who write collaboratively. We recognize the contribution of unnamed team members for their wisdom and input.