The new year is a time for people to reflect on the past year and look forward to what is to come. What has passed allows us to build upon lessons learned and move toward a new vision.  

What is a resolution? It is a decision to act or not act. It is typically an open-ended promise to yourself with no specific time frame for change or consideration of potential circumstances that may derail your progress. Resolutions often inspire confidence, putting you in an immediate state of motivation and belief.

Despite their long history, New Year’s resolutions have a failure rate of about 80% and are abandoned by February. Regardless, the practice of setting resolutions remains a hopeful and symbolic way to embrace change and growth.

Why do resolutions fail?

The top three New Year’s resolutions for 2025 are “save money,” “improve physical health,” and “improve mental well-being.”

While these are admirable resolutions, they have a very low chance of success – why?

1. Lofty, vague, or unrealistic. These top three resolutions are common, but what do they actually mean? Without specific, actionable steps, they are overwhelming and nearly impossible to accomplish.
2. Based on all-or-nothing thinking. Demanding perfection, with no room for error. When we view progress in binaries (success versus failure), a single setback can derail the whole resolution. This rigidity can quickly lead to burnout.
3. Rooted in external pressure and not genuine desire. Societal expectations or trends influence many resolutions. For example, trying to attain a “beach body” according to popular beauty standards or doing something because we “should.”

Change is hard, and it is challenging to put in effort without seeing progress. We cannot commit to a resolution if we are not ready

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Goal Setting

A goal is a commitment to achieving an objective. In contrast to a resolution, goals involve a defined and targeted outcome with a clear direction of attention and effort. Typically, goals have a specific timeline and action plan, encouraging specific motivation and performance, while considering all factors that affect achievement.

Benefits of Setting Goals

When set and achieved effectively, goals can provide numerous benefits. Research indicates that individuals who set personal goals tend to experience higher levels of well-being, a greater sense of purpose, and are more likely to persist through obstacles with greater resilience. Setting goals and following through can support the development of essential executive function skills, such as time management and organization.  

Keys to setting neuroaffirming goals

There are four keys to setting neuroaffirming goals that are more likely to lead to success.  

1. Effective goals are frequently reviewed. Feedback is essential to the goal-setting process, and since our lives can be ever-changing, it is crucial to be open to adjusting goals to meet our evolving needs. Sometimes, you might set a goal and realize that another goal needs to be met before that one.
2. Effective goals are clear and concise. It is much easier to achieve a goal and know that you have achieved it, such as “I will climb 42 stairs today,” rather than “I will climb some stairs.”  
3. Effective goals are motivating. Goals based on intrinsic motivation fulfill internal desires, such as self-improvement, rather than extrinsic goals that focus on external rewards, like money or recognition. Individuals who pursue intrinsic goals are more satisfied and motivated in the long term than those who focus on extrinsic goals.  
4. Effective goals are beneficial to you. Goals focused on outcomes explain the benefits and value of achieving the goal rather than focusing on the output of the goal. Focusing on the output can make the goal inflexible.

Resolutions and traditional goals often overlook or disregard these key factors, and for neurodivergent individuals, ineffective goals can feel overwhelming or unattainable, leading to frustration and burnout. Neuroaffirming goals validate differences and align with unique ways of experiencing the world. They are not based on neurotypical expectations or the idea that something needs to be “fixed”—they can be about exploring, enjoying, and growing, prioritizing well-being and leaving behind the guilt of trying to meet neurotypical standards.

Strategies for Success

• Be flexible and be kind to yourself.  
• Working toward a goal is rarely a linear process, and roadblocks are an inevitable part of it.  
• Give yourself permission to take breaks and adapt, rather than giving up.  
• Failure is feedback, not the end.  
• Goals should adapt to your life, not the other way around.  
• When you forgive yourself for making mistakes and taking breaks, you are less likely to dwell in shame, which can further delay your progress.  
• Incremental changes lead to lasting results.  
• Practice positive self-talk often and be your own cheerleader.  
• Show empathy toward yourself and your efforts to shift your motivation.  
• You can do hard things, but sometimes, the hard thing is not what you need right now.  
• Prioritize your well-being, including emotional regulation, and give your body what it needs to thrive.  

– Becky Bishop, Senior Manager, Youth and Adult Programs

LDS is a community of dedicated professionals who write collaboratively. We recognize the contribution of unnamed team members for their wisdom and input.